Saturday, March 15, 2008

True Relationship – Truth or just another false acclaims to appear as truth? Do you believe in it?

I do have a lot in my mind right now, and I am looking for the best way to put it and to express my own thoughts and experiences in this issues.

Is it possible for us to use this words True Relationship– May it be true friendship of true parental ship, now, in this very century? Have you ever thought off when a person treats you in a pleasant manner whether that individual really meant it or is there any hidden meanings behind it?

Let’s talk about true parental ship-relationship between children and their parents. I came across some reading and observation which leads to the formation of a concept in my mind that not many of such relationship really do exist nowadays. Why?

Have you came across some articles describing whether certain parents these days are meresex machineor do they really know what they are doing and have a proper planning for their child? There some many cases on child abusing-in various of forms such as physical or mental and the most recent impact available elaborates on sexual harassment (mind you it is not just something as light as touching and the usage of certain uneasy words) between parent and child? In present, they are really in to it. Let’s make some assumptions here and let’s leave some general thoughts such as religion in such manner- I do aware that most issues, we tend to ‘trying our best’ to relate it with God and religions. Let’s be practical and use facts and our brain a little.

This maybe not true at all-let you all be the judge whether the thoughts below is relevant or not (bear in mind, no offensive motives are being evoke here). In a normal society’s thinking when they wish to have a child;

‘ Hubby, I wish that our kids would become so-and-so in the future’ , ‘Wouldn’t it be nice to have a lot of children, we need not to worry about ourselves when we are old and grey’, ‘ I want to be a parent, I want to know how it feels because everyone should be one, I want experience’ , ‘ Ahh, it would be lonely if the world just belongs to only both of us, well, when we have children, i am sure our life would be more cheerful ‘ and the reasons and dreams goes on…

It appears that to some of them, dream remains as dreams and it might be a nightmare. Improper planning - Oops, you are pregnant now? We have just thought of having one!!! What should I do? Ahh, we have a miracle God-like safety spots-garbage disposal area and riverside. It is safety there and let’s prays that a kind, lovely couple might end up discovering the baby.

A child, who was divine gift from the Superior ended up to be a little devil. Perhaps things go well after a few month of the delivery. Yay , I have a baby,uuuh,u r SOO adorable, I would do anything for you. Ouuuch, this so not true after a period of time. Sweety,can u make HIM/HER to shut up,I have works to do tomorrow in the early morning, What !!!? Are you kidding? Asking me to babysit the child? I have plenty work and my boss keeps on ‘sounding’ me, ask papa and mama to take care of the child, I have no time. Guest what? Now you are giving other peoples some hack of a trouble. Where that enthusiasm/excitement/energy when having a child went to? Washed into the drain along with formulated baby milk?

Child, when you grow up, don’t forget to look after us. Remember that from the size of a palm, we have raised you up to fine person, we have been through ‘Inflasi sifar’, formulated milk is soo not cheap, educations-Oh God, it is too much to bear-Yet, we made it through, so ,no matter what, make us fat when we are old and grey and remember always, all those sweats and tears that we have shed for you and not matter how harsh we have treated you, we are still your parents, you are OBLIGATED to take care of us in the future. Some how, raising up a child turn out to be as if an investment plan..nah, its more like a stock whereby it guarantees a fortunate comeback when the time arrives.

Yes, I totally agreed that we should be faithful to our parents but be practical , the saying : No one loves or cares more about you other than your parents, is soo not true in certain aspects nowadays, agree? How a child would felt when he or she was told that they have such responsibilities later whether they like or not and YOU DON’T HAVE A CHOICE. Will you consider such a pathetic, lowly, and inhuman human beings as your parents-true and sincerely, not lying to yourself in the future? What if they continuously give you traumas, frightful experiences, insecure feelings in your home… will you be able to love them as parents instead of enemy or monster? Don’t bull xxxx an lie to yourself, present, there are too many intellectual human beings who uses their own way to judge and evaluate certain aspects in life.

And I quite often came across such sayings: ‘Child, what ever we did, we did the best for you’. Take things in such a way- If you are doing your so-called-best decisions in a child’s life, I believe you need not to mention it. Can you read your child's thought?I doubt it. No matter how young a child could be, sincerity can be felt which same goes to love.

If you love and care about a person, the feelings would project by themselves…somehow, it will be felt by the child if only the parents know what love is and care all about. The funny thing is, how can you not show your love and concern to your child if you love them? Stop making unneeded decisions and stay away from assuming that when you are older, you are wiser, more intellectually and you could take the youngsters lightly. I don’t mean to say that adults are not dependable, yes they are dependable in such a way but nevertheless, this is not a reason for you to stop listening to us.

In my life, I was told to respect elder….later on in my life, whether older or elder peoples, they seldom let my down and I have lost my nurtured way of concept on respect and developed a new way of respecting other peoples which by paying respect to those who earn my respect and not just blindly respect human beings. Respect comes from heart now just merely words.

In term of true friendship, have you been a nice, unconditional caring friend to your friends? Before answering to that question, imagine such person exist in your life, would you start questioning yourself whether he or she be kind to me for a purpose or could it be just that individuals nature? Well, in such intellectual society, we can’t stop trying to put ourselves in a secure position, we doubt others-whether you intentionally or not, we judge them without even trying to really get to know them and think of how do they feel when we make such a move. Agree? We are nurtured to be such a way, don’t talk to strangers, don’t simply believe in other peoples, don’t be nice to a person when you are not in a condition to be so-in other words, if you gain nothing and yet lose something, why bother?

Of course that we always want peoples to be handy,don't we? When we need help, there should be a helping hand ready for us to reach to, we want to gain profit yet we don’t want to give anything? Come on, there is no free lunch in this world. How can you gain such sincere and valuable relationship when you doubt its presence and even when are willing to sacrifice to others, what makes you think others will do the same to you, unconditionally?

This leads to several other ‘friendship’ such as bar friendship, business friendship and many more other fake friendship which based on a fact whereby; You scratch my back, I scratch yours. A person may wish to know you maybe because you have something they wish from you for examples; Maybe you are from certain organization whereby your ‘friend’ is in the same field too where we can be ‘symbiosis-the above ‘scratching called’ relationship and usually, there is nothing else in the conversation other than stuffs related to the organization. Don’t you think a true friend can talk to you in anything even the issues that both of them are not in common-to put it nicely, a 2- sided continuous interactions? Said who you must give a purchase able gift to a friend during his/her birthday and thus, this is what friendship is all about? There is a lot of things in this world that cannot be bought and sometime, a few words from those who truly concern about you, worth more than gold. Be sincere and aspect nothing from what you gave even the givers always pays more that the person who receive.

Thus, can we come to a conclusion that true friendship should exist and yet, it can’t exist because we are not allowing it? Stop expecting too much if you are not willing to pay or at least believe in it and life experience is the greatest assets and which makes a person who they are, what will they become later and it forms your uniqueness and usually such valuable teachings won’t be available in just a book and be remind ,anything written stuffs works/functions as a guideline, not rules not something static, it is us human who decide everything, from what we see, what we want to believe , what we want to make as rules and what we want to keep and believe in life.

To choose to believe in true relationships is going to make you vulnerable to various aspects but, this is the price for seeking the honey of love and other virtues, there is always a price to pay when you demand for something.


Salam and take care, pals...

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